


you can see light

by aprincessofdaxam



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22740610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprincessofdaxam/pseuds/aprincessofdaxam
Summary: Letters through the wormhole: Kara and Mon-El have a chat about William ... kind of.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Mon-El
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	you can see light

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously Karamel-flavored, but dealing with current canon and Kara exploring the idea of letting other people into her life, in general - which certainly applies to romantic love and any feelings she may be developing for William. This wound up being a bit of an experiment - see the notes at the end of the work for the thought process behind this. It is canon through "Back From the Future 1," and begins right at the end of that episode, before Kara issues that invite to game night.

**January 26, 2020 **

She stares at the envelope Winn had handed her this morning, turning it over in her hands as she sits on the couch in her loft. 

_"How is he?" she'd asked, pulling Winn aside as the group made their way from the convention center to J'onn's office, as Alex spoke on the phone nearby._

_He'd just smiled, not having to ask what she meant, and pulled an envelope from the inside of his blue jacket - an envelope! really! with all the technology at their disposal - and handed it to her before Alex asked a question, leaving Supergirl to tuck the missive away until Kara had a moment._

Now she's grateful that it's an envelope and not some more advanced piece of technology, thinking of his hands on it as she slides her finger under the seal and unfolds the paper to see the handwriting that she still stumbles across sometimes in books or on stray scraps of paper in the loft. 

> _I'm writing this as Winn is preparing to go back to your time to deal with this doppelganger he's learned about._ _He, of course, offered to carry any messages I had for you. There's not enough time to write everything I want to say to you - but then, there never seems to be world enough and time._

She smiles a little at that quote, knowing that the Daxamite, a bookworm, and Winn, who is - well, who is just a nerd - had loaded boxes with piles of books in various genres to bring back to the 31st century with them, stories that were lost to extinction events, stories they want their friends to know, stories to keep them busy. 

> _I want you to know that I'm well. Maybe more importantly, that Winn is well, that he's happy, as I'm sure you'll learn. And I love that he's brought even more stories to you to this time, that the Legion has learned even more about the woman who inspires them. Even a thousand years on, Supergirl lights the way._
> 
> _But most importantly, I think I wanted to write this letter, because I think it will be hard for you, on some level, to learn that Winn has made a life here, that he's not just on a temporary mission anymore. I know you would never wish anything other than happiness for him, but I think it might be hard for you to know that he's leaving again. We both know some goodbyes aren't forever - that some things always seem to come back around. But you've said goodbye to more people you love than anyone would deem fair - some for happy reasons, some not so much. And somehow, you've found the incredible strength to keep smiling and to keep loving. But you told me once that you don't like being vulnerable, and Kara, I can't help always being afraid that someday you will have to say goodbye to someone, and decide you're done being vulnerable, and that it will change you._
> 
> _I could wish you so many things, but more than anything, it is this - that you have the courage to keep loving. Your compassion and your hope and your caring for everyone you meet - it made me better Kara, it taught me how to have the courage to care and lift others up, and that's true about so many people, even if you don't see it. And more importantly, Kara, you are too wonderful to ever close yourself off, to not share that light with the world, to not give yourself that happiness. You have too much love inside of you for that._
> 
> _I have said so many goodbyes to you that we could be experts on them. I'm not going to say goodbye here. Life is long - ours, even more so. Maybe I'll find my way back to the 21st century someday, when we've won this fight. Or maybe you'll decide you need to come to the 31st and meet Mary, who Winn does call your niece, and your fellow Legionnaires. Whenever our paths cross, whatever we are to each other, I hope you never lose that light in your eyes._
> 
> _Kaoshuh._

She smiles at the Kryptonian phrase in his sign-off, her hand coming up to catch the tears that are now threatening to fall before they can drop onto the page. 

How has he known exactly what she needed to hear? 

Because yes - people leave, in her life. She had _just_ been thinking of that today, and Winn had made assurances that knowing her is worth every bit of danger that Supergirl puts people in - another bit of advice she had sorely needed, when she needed it. But still - being close to her is a risk. And in the past few years alone - never mind the loss of her parents, of her aunts and uncle, of her entire world, as a girl - life has been a revolving door of people in and out, in all manner of strange and not so strange, alien and so human circumstances. 

Miss Grant, her mentor. Jeremiah being found, then lost to them again. Mon-El crashing into and out of her life over and over, changing her heart each time. Watching Alex lose Maggie, who had become part of the family. Winn and Brainy exchanging places in time, J'onn and Alex stepping into new roles at the DEO, and last year, when Alex was there, but not. James leaving National City, Nia and Kelly arriving. Lena and Eve, maybe lost to them all, and William into the fray. And the Crisis - losing Alura and Clark and everyone, and then not, having Barry and Kate closer, but losing Ollie. 

It's a lot. And it's overwhelming. And she's _tired_. But in the way he always has since the day he crashed in from Daxam, so good at getting under her skin and challenging her, Mon-El makes her look at herself. She can't say she has consciously been shutting herself off. But she's tired, and it's been so much easier to stand there and be ... a bit of a bystander in her own story. 

For a moment, as she sits by the wayside, she thinks about everyone she cares about who is here in this city, safe and sound for the moment. She picks out Alex's heartbeat across town without even thinking about it, and smiles when she finds Kelly's beside it, for a moment allowing herself to revel in their happiness. Winn, who is here, and apparently catching up with Brainy. Lena at her office, J'onn at his, William at CatCo. She can hear Nia, hurting, but sure and steady. They are hurting, but they are alive. 

Mon-El - she can't hear his, but she focuses on the thought that he is okay, and no matter what stories their lives may become, they will never be lost to each other. 

_Her_ story is of hope, help, and compassion for all - and that hope has to extend to herself, too.

She doesn't know what the answers are, she doesn't know what Mon-El could be to her someday, she doesn't know what William or someone else could be to her someday. But she knows, for the first time in a little while, that she is going to come off the sidelines and _live_ , and let the answers come to her.

She moves off the couch with purpose, going to the desk where she keeps her paper and tools, then sitting down at the table where she's written so many articles. It doesn't take long. She seals the letter into a sturdy manila envelope - the idea that this will travel a thousand years seems to call for something sturdy. She sets it aside to be handed to Winn tonight. Then she tucks her Legion ring on its chain back into her usual spot under her clothes, against her heart, grabs her glasses, and leaps back out the window into the city. She has one more stop to make before game night, and she suspects a certain reporter may still be sitting at his desk in CatCo's dark office. 

**A thousand years, and a couple of days, later**

He stands on the edge of the roof on Legion headquarters, looking out over the lights of the city - it makes him smile, to see so many more lights, ever since they came back from the past and the Blight and so many wars and so much death became things that only haunt their memories. He runs his thumb over the edge of the envelope he's been carrying in his pocket since Winn came back, not needing to pull it out and open it again to know its contents, to hear her voice in his head. 

> _Mon-El, can I say again how much better you've gotten at this advice thing? Somehow, you said what I most needed to hear, when I needed to hear it. Thank you._
> 
> _We're good here in the 21st century - maybe you know that, because maybe you know how it all turns out. But just like you reassured me about Winn, I want to reassure you about Brainy. He struggles sometimes - I know he's always afraid of himself, of his family. But I know he's the good man you always saw in him, and he's become part of this family, just like he became part of yours, and just like Winn is a part of both of ours. We've all seen so many changes, in this crazy story. But maybe the goodbyes and the moves through time and the changes aren't all bad, as they bring so many people to us as well as away from us. Brainy and Winn both have even more people who care about him now - we all do. We all have had changes. As for mine ..._
> 
> _You promised me once that you would be better because of me, that you would be the man I thought you could be. You did, and I don't know if I've told you enough how proud I am of you, or how much better I am because of you, too. You not only loved me, Mon-El, and taught me how to be vulnerable and how to be loved - you challenge me, and always make me look at myself and look at my own choices._
> 
> _So now it's my turn to make a promise to you. I promise not to lose hope. I promise not to stop being the woman you told all those things to. She's had a bit of a rough go of it, but she still knows how to love, and how to have hope. Thank you for reminding me, and I promise not to forget that, or you._
> 
> _You're right - life is long. I know in my heart our story isn't over, but I promise not to shut myself off, or to be afraid of the next chapter of my story, at the same time. Whenever we meet again, whatever we are to each other, know that your favorite mug is still in my cupboard, that I still remember how you take your tea, and that there is a spot for you at game night. You will always be a part of my family._

His Legion ring lights up as his corresponding comm crackles to life in his ear.

_"Hey, are you on your way over?"_ Winn asks, and he can hear more voices in the background. _"Mary refuses to let Ayla start anything til Uncle Mon gets here to help cook, and we're all starving!"_

The night he's been imagining on Kara's sofa, teasing her as she gets over-competitive on game night, kissing away her frustration, clinking glasses with Alex as she laughs at her sister, as J'onn smiles with his eyes at all of them, fades away and is replaced what this night will be. Hoisting his niece onto the counter as she helps him stir something in a skillet for a group dinner, the youngster making far too much of a mess as Winn cringes and Ayla just laughs. Exchanging glances with Preya as Imra pretends not to notice Garth's eyes on her, and smirking a little at the thought of this crazy family of all of theirs getting - well, crazier. With never a shortage of affection, just like the one a thousand years back. He doesn't have to stop missing one, to love the other. 

He's seen so many changes in this crazy story, and has resided so many places - Daxam, Earth in two centuries, Titan, a host of ships. The last time he was back, he'd made a choice - and then had that choice ripped away from him. It had felt like ripping away a part of himself as he walked away from her, after _"For a moment, I really thought ... "_

But now, he thinks, maybe he hasn't lost his place, his time, his home, his family. Maybe he just has two. 

He smiles a little to himself, then cues his comm to respond. "On my way, Winn." He touches the pendant around his neck, then tucks her necklace back into its usual spot under his clothes, against his heart, and lifts off into the sky. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something BEFORE we got to the Feb. 16 episode where Kara apparently really starts to dive into her feelings about William, and before we got to the Feb. 23 episode, where Mon-El returns! I am sure canon will have other things to say about the topic, and I reserve the right to try to fix it then, too :P 
> 
> I'm not naive enough to think that Kara won't have another love interest in the remainder of Supergirl's run - this IS the CW - and Kara deserves to be happy. But at the same time, before she moves ahead, I wanted her to acknowledge her feelings for Mon-El, and I wanted her relationship with him to have a bit of a coda, to have a happy ending that wasn't necessarily an ending, to leave things open-ended for the series finale, as I hope they'll do in canon. 
> 
> I thought Kara might actually find some usefulness in talking to Mon-El about the courage in having feelings for another person after you've been separated from your epic love - because he DID love Imra, in their own way. And I wanted Mon-El to have able to tell her it was OK if she moved on in a way that gave him a happy ending, too, even if he wasn't necessarily attached to someone - a story that didn't just leave him sad and pining for her in the 31st century. But any time I tried to write that conversation, it just came off as Mon-El giving Kara "permission," which is squicky. So I came up with the idea of not having them speak face-to-face - of having them somehow say what the other needs to hear, without having knowledge of the situation, and without putting labels on one another or anything else. So this evolved as that experiment. 
> 
> The title is from the song "Never Surrender" which very much reminds me of these two and which I listened to on repeat the night the Season 3 finale aired, don't judge me. I also made a playlist of things that sparked while working on this fic, which you can find on Tumblr eventually.


End file.
